Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Round 2

Rule #1: Don't hang out with me if you think you may ever want to get pregnant. Why? Because I suck at it. Let me first say that it IS a total BLESSING and I'm thrilled. I'm not saying that because I have to but because I mean it. However, if Evan is even thinking about a 3rd kid, I'll call a lawyer...

You know how some people glow? I hate those people. I get acne, sport grey hair, barf, dry heave, smell bad, get emotional, forget everything, gain like 45 lbs, and even have been known to sport a chin hair. In my culture chin hair isn't lucky or a sign of wealth or whatever, it's just a slap in the face.

You know what's cute? When I ask people if they were sick while pregnant and they respond,  "Oh I was so sick. It was horrible." So then I ask if they threw up a lot and they say,  "No but I felt really car sick." Um... Let me go into detail about something Kate Middleton and I apparently have in common. We barf. Like a lot. I thought I was a champ when I was carrying Russ- I threw up about 10 times a day for 16 weeks. Now I think that's just adorable. My new baby on board had me sick between 25-30 times a day for a little over 2 months and around 10 times a day for another month. I'm now on day 6 without making out with my toilet! Now it's time to get fat, dye the grays, put on my elastic stretchy pants and rock this.